Monday, April 17, 2006

The Heather on the Hill

While, I may look like a crazy scarecrow, a perfect perching post for those noisey robbins that infest the suburbs where I spent the last several days (and yes, there are indeed plastic blow-up bunnies decorating my neighbors' front lawn), Highland is indeed beautiful, if I do say so myself. And, I learned a very valuable skill in making it - the spit splice.
Now in my f-d up world, I have no problem talking about the right way to give a blow job in front of 12 angry men, but I do not, under any circumstances, talk about any kind of bodily functions - what happens behind a closed bathroom door stays behind the closed bathroom door. No talk of regularity, nothing - any fluid that comes out of the body - too much information, not dinner table conversation, busride conversation, coffee machine chit chat. And therefore, when Grace started talking about spitting - which qualifies as one of those bodily functions that should not be discussed, I shuddered.
Did she say the "s" word? Yes, unply both ends of the yarn - the old strand, and the new ball you are attaching, spit (I can barely type it!!) on the palm of your hand, and rub the two ends together, causing felting. This caused inner conflict with me. The first time I had to do a spit splice, I actually put down the knitting for the night, and took an evening to think about it before I did it. Nice young ladies don't spit - in any context! But, I got over my fear of spitting on the palm of my own hand, and rubbing my beautiful alpaca silk yarn between my grubby palms. And voila! The yarn is joined, there are no ends to weave in. So, while I still find it distasteful, it must be done.

And, in other news, if you want to buy me for an hour, you can! I, or I should say, an hour knitting lesson with moi, is up for auction at the Friends Select Silent Auction, which benefits the Friends Select School at 17th and the Parkway. Yes, I will be sold to the highest bidder! Just click on me - and you can get all of the details. The auction is this Saturday, from 6:30 to 9:30. Bid early, bid generously, I'm sure the competition will be fierce!

7 comments:

Knitty Delicious said...

HOT HOT HOT
That is all I can say.
I'm making progress...almost through pattern 2 of 5 and it is going well. Saturday, we podcast
C

Lisa said...

Great work!!! And.....I agree with the spitting technique! ....it takes awhile to get over it.

PS: Love the painting of the knitter.......is that yours or did you find it on the www???

Merrill Mason said...

WOW! You must be thrilled! Definitely reeks of Catherine and Heathcliff. And it blocked out big. No eenie Ene here.

Sour Kimono is going well, but I've been concentrating on the orange linen sweater since I want to wear it N.O.W.

KnittingJones said...

I love it! How long did it take? The yarn I have for mine is pale sage green, and I bought a muted heather purple for the outer edging. But with my WIPs, I probably won't be starting it until fall. Though, looking at yours ....

PS I know about the blowjob aspect of our work, all too well. Had a neglect/abuse trial last week, and got to say penis on the record at least a hundred times. As in, asking the character witnesses for the alleged bad guy,
"So, you testified earlier that Mr. --- is a good father, the best you've ever met. Tell me, does a good father ask his daughter how big her boyfriend's penis is?" Arghhhhhh Some days, I have to take a long brutal shower after work.

wenders said...

I love this drawing. Wow.

stringthing said...

do you think a spit splice could be done with just water? i almost allways have that nearby.

Theresa said...

That is stunning. It's like you started, I blinked, and now you're done. What an accomplishmen!

Love the Friends Select Auction. What a great cause. (BTW, I went to George School.)