Dress Down, Crash Down

I like to think of myself as fashion savy. I read Vogue, In Style. I watch the Style Network. I'm never without a lipstick. In the world of public defenders, where the standard shoe wear is Berkenstocks, my budget friendly clothes are definitely fashion forward. But, frankly, this Top Down is shaking my confidence. First, I got myself ready for clown college, and now this. Can anyone explain to me WHAT I WAS THINKING?????
WHAT WAS I THINKING PUTTING STRIPES ACROSS MY BEER GUT AND MY BUTT? Sausage may be tasty, but sausage casing is not a fashion statement. Or, I take that back, it's a statement alright - A BAD STATEMENT
I am just so disappointed in myself. I picked the yarn, the color. The problem should have been predictable. But, I plowed ahead -- and the resulting crop circles are not the result of aliens, oh, no, those enormous landing strips across my stomach and my ass are my own doing!

So, I ran to the ballwinder. Out out damn spot! I ripped - and, living up to my mother's nickname for me (not "take me buy me bring me get me"), FAST AND WRONG - I tangled up the ballwinder, and nearly took the table down trying to untangle it. Grace to the rescue! And you know what, this ripping, wasn't like breaking up with a boyfriend - like the ruffle - this ripping was as if Frankenstein took over my body - I'M MAKING A MONSTER! A striped, body stocking monster! See that wild look in my eye! This project is driving me mad, I say!
And, here it, is, back to that oh familiar spot! Can I leave it this way? Bring the belly shirt back? Can this be turned into a shrug?
Sigh, but, believe it or not, Saturday's class is not all about me, and we were there for serious business - steeking, and Grace showed us how -
I, of course, bring it all back to me - and I had visions of taking a scissors to my top down - no steeking involved of course, just shredding.

And, while none of us walked out with a finished top down, we all have a roadmap, and a knitter's bible. I, of course, forgot to bring mine to class - mad scientist abandons pattern, all hell breaks loose!

But here is Cecelia's And Merrill's
And, let's all give Merrill a hand, she may not have garnered a gold medal, but she did remain faithful to one project, and her top down is well on it's way:

And, what's next for the Top Downers, although I'm starting to think that I'm a Sundowner -one of those people who loses their mind as the day grows long and dark. And the envelope is . . . starting April 1st (appropriate, April Fool's Day), through 4 Saturdays in April, Grace will be leading the way for a Shawl Along Class. Pick any Shawl in Folk Shawls, and knit-a-long. I'm picking the Highland Triangle, and I'm going to do it in Green - because I have visions of peatmoss, and Wuthering Heights:
Merrill, who is going to do the same shawl, has a different vision:
Anyone who's interested, just give Loop a call, and sign up.

And, after strong arming Grace into teaching another class, was I done yet? After ripping out my dress and nearly taking out the ball winder, was I done yet? Oh, no, I had to take out the store - I was a knitting terrorist. I grabbed my coat, and knocked over the coat rack, taking all of the needles down with me. I may not now how to make an entrance, but I sure know how to make an exit. Needless to say, Grace was so not unhappy to see my back walking out the door that day, and I'm sure she's looking forward to April!